Crossroads

V-Day

2011-02-15T00:07:00.000+05:30

A Happy Valentine's Day to you !

Happy Birthday !

2011-02-09T23:29:00.001+05:30

Another Birthday of hers goes by, when I am not there. :(

The Other Side

2011-01-23T01:21:00.000+05:30

Oh ! How I miss her.

Of the Chosen Path

2010-10-07T18:46:00.003+05:30

Almost everyone around me think that I made a wrong decision.

This is the reason I keep quiet.

Reason

2010-08-27T23:03:00.003+05:30

Is, being in love, not reason strong enough ?

Of a Red Rose and a White Lily

2010-01-15T13:01:00.004+05:30

Yeah the things would have been different had they not been placed on the refrigerator at the right hand side of the door.

It was hard to be normal.

Look Out

2009-12-20T09:20:00.003+05:30

A full day out on the streets of Delhi, and my eyes were looking for just one face.
I felt, may be at times before entering the street, I even peeped into few lanes with winked eyes.
Any distant close-to-actual face made the heart pound, and made me wonder what would be the scene on the encounter with the "one face" !

It's Time

2009-11-09T23:01:00.002+05:30

Move On ?

May be it's time to Move Out.

Hallucinations

2009-10-25T23:11:00.002+05:30

How could I tell her when she says she misses me that I do not have a track of past one year that I have been away from her.
I never missed her. I thought she was there.. there with me.

And hence, Nothing Else Matters [;)]

Miss You

2009-10-20T02:45:00.002+05:30

and amidst all this i missed her

Wake Up !

2009-10-03T10:44:00.003+05:30

How could I tell her that I liked the movie a lot.

I loved her place,
I loved her attitude,
I loved her lip mincing,
I loved her neatly did bedsheets,
I loved the wall,
I loved the rain,
I loved the cake,
I loved the candle,
I loved the independence,
I loved the arrogance.

every bit of it reminded me of past. And yes it was very right in stating that a place is not so special, it's the people around there that make it special.
That is whay i love Delhi. ;)

Iljaam

2009-09-29T02:46:00.001+05:30

Debt

2009-09-28T13:11:00.002+05:30

Gradually she would start disliking me for what I have done to her life and gradually I would be dying with the debt of what I have done.

Flashback

2009-09-28T02:04:00.005+05:30

Running flashback on past 10 months in Mumbai scares me.

For,

Apart from work, most of my time fills in the wallets of Mr. Mallya.
I almost died a day.
I was seconds away from getting to police for drunken driving.
I went to work dead drunk.
A doctor freaked out taking my blood pressure.
This is the only place I crib about my life.

Ok. I know I have been doing no good to anybody snapping all contacts. But can't help it. Call me arrogant call me foolish call me names but I can't help it. May be I need a shrink!

Jubilation

2009-09-14T02:51:00.004+05:30

6th November was the day he joined at Mumbai.
It's been about 10 months that he left Delhi. I kind of sympathize with him. I have watched him all along these days.
He all these times have been busy with something of his own. No body has ever been successful to get into him to know what he is all about. neither he has been in touch with the best of his friends, all these days he merely s friends' initiatives, that too seldom, and that too those who are around him locally. I have noticed he has this extreme capability of ignoring people at his own will and with no regrets what so ever. I have been trying to make him understand that this is bad but he refuses to listen. It's been a year of oblivion for him and this has a toll on him.

For a change, he seemed pretty happy today. It was such a pleasant sight, he dancing to tunes, rhyming his sentences and fooling around with people . On very persuasion he confessed of hearing the voice of his beloved today.... I understand that's more than enough for those in love.

I just hope I could help him some day and may be love as he used to.

Delhi

2009-08-21T00:10:00.002+05:30

I miss the air of the Delhi.
There was this level of comfort in the smell there. I knew if something would happen on the roads there, people are there to take care of the situation.

I fear driving in Mumbai with a fear that suppose, if I die in an accident, just suppose (;)) no one will come to know. And for this very reason, I deliberately have made my drives slower :D

This is the feeling of insecurity that you face in a new place.

I can't help

2009-08-17T02:22:00.004+05:30

Number of bands who have taken up the song from the original Presley's one.
I can't help falling in love with you

Keely Smith
Perry Como
Doris Day
The Lettermen
Bobby Solo
Aphrodite's Child
Andy Williams
Al Martino
Bob Dylan
Raul Seixas
The Stylistics
Shirley Bassey
Platters
Bruce Springsteen
Corey Hart
The Triffids
U2
UB40
Fancy_
David Thomas
Eels
Hi-Standard
Rick Astley
Richard Marx
Clay Aiken
Andrea Bocelli
F4
Julio Iglesias
Lick the Tins
Dave Matthews
Katharine McPhee
Urbanize
Vytautas
The Skank Agents
Blackmore's Night
Mägo de Oz
Ingrid Michaelson
Harry Connick, Jr. ( Courtesy : Wiki)
Pearl Jam ( Courtesy : General YouTubing ! )

Death

2009-07-28T21:49:00.004+05:30

Timba died today.

Confused ?

2009-05-12T23:22:00.004+05:30

There are ones whom you remember when you want to share the happiness or miss them when you are enjoying something new and good.

There are one whom you remember when you are troubled and you look out for a solution.

There are ones whom you want to share the both the feelings and would like to share the world with them.

Whom do you love ?

Move On

2009-05-03T21:13:00.005+05:30

Oh Dear,

Let's talk on the art of " Moving On "
All around me I am surrounded with sounds of "I have moved on", "I haven't moved on" , "I need some time", "I am not pretty sure whether or not I have moved on"

Let me state a fact : I have not moved on.

I just fail to understand how do you move on. Once (if) you have loved someone to the maximum, and from the purest of your heart, I just don't see a reason to move on.

But still I think everyone should move on. This is what the society wants from you.

I don't know how people move on but I have my reasons why I can't.

May be, she was the love I had been searching all the time.
May be, she was the one I thought would perfectly compliment me.
May be, she was the one I thought would keep a check on me.
(This is important as people often say I am unhandelable and find no reason in my reasonings!)
May be, she was the one I thought of throwing the snow balls at !
May be, she was the one I thought of watching few of the movies having pop corn her desert cooler cooled room!
May be, she was the one who could drive off my car when I was too tired.
May be, because she is very beautiful.
May be, because she is brave.
May be, because she is too innocent and foolish at times.
May be, because I thought she loved me as I did. :)

I make it a point not to include more than 10 points. It would be boring for you.

Rest all is fine, with me finding ways to reason out my reasons !

Of The Meaning ...

2009-03-15T00:53:00.003+05:30

This is from Kiran Desai's Inheritance of Loss

"Could fulfillment ever be felt as deeply as loss ? Romantically she decided that love must surely reside in the gap between desire and fulfillment, in the lack, not the contentment. Love was the ache, the anticipation, the retreat, everything about it but the emotion itself."

Of Alcohol, Marijuana and all other evil things !!

2009-02-16T17:46:00.005+05:30

It was a great reprive to see the movie, just because I am not alone, in fact a movie with so much of frustation and irritation shown could not be a story on one guy DEVDAS. It's about all of us.

Dev D shows all the human emotions, intentions, desires, expectations in love with no bar.
It's everyone's story who's in love.
Dev D was bold enough to show the dark side of love which otherwise dies with in each one of us.
All the bottle smashing, dope, alcohol, window breaks, prostitution is something that atleast all would associate themselves with or are familiar with. For me the great turn on point was the scene in which Dev(Abhay Deol) smashes the wondow panes of the brothel he used to visit.
If I allow myself to get a poetic, you can make a comparison of the brothel with the hostel I used to reside in !
It's just a thought.. just came in my mind.. that guys find it pretty difficult to cope up with break up and stuf in love. Either they move on or they go on a rampage....

New Year

2009-01-18T13:37:00.003+05:30

The last post was a bad one to start off in a new year.
This is a typical New Year resolution blog :

I and solely me would be accountable hereon for my belongings.
I will keep my Medical bills for IT purposes at the end of the year.
I will keep a copy of the ticket and boarding passes for all my journeys.
I can't quit smoking and drinking.
I will maintain a diary for my official purposes.
I will not repeat the 3rd year of my college days.
I will not love.
I will try to save money and get a PPF account.
I will keep a cheque book for my bank account.
I will finish off my Credit Card debt.
For once, I want to be on my own. No lending, borrowings and hisaab kitaab in progress.
Use Arial in all my mails and postings.

Love Actually ?

2009-01-07T19:22:00.002+05:30

Love is a tedious affair.

You expect. She thinks you expect. She delivers as per what she think you expect.
She may not deliver coz she can not think that you expect. Or may be she does not deliver coz she is scared that you expect.

She tells not to expect but she forgets she was never given a chance to expect.

You change. She did not notice the change in you. She did not change thinking you loved her for what she is. Of course you did. But you never told her you would love her more the other way round!

People are so scared to see the other way round that they spoil the present status too.

You wait. She does not have the time to wait. Not her fault though. You have patience. She does not have though. You can fight the world for her may be she can fight the world. But not for you.

Fights are important. You remember your actions/acts when blown apart.
It's always easy to walk your way if you have just feelings to carry with you. May be it would be easier for you.

Note: She- He, His - Her are interchangebale.

Of Losing

2008-10-07T23:57:00.000+05:30

Al Pacino's speech in Any Given Sunday.

I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money,believe it or not.
I chased off anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

The End

2008-09-29T18:14:00.002+05:30

Chand geeton ke bolon mein simat ke rah gaya humara pyaar.

The End

The DAY I would never forget

2008-09-01T21:53:00.002+05:30

August the 13th 2005

Days I would never forget 6

2008-09-01T21:51:00.002+05:30

Posts of past part 6
Mr. Suresh Roy

Well,sometimes you get so much attached to a stranger that you open yourself to him/her.that may be because you have security of ur confidentiallity.It hapened with me on my way back from Kolkata last night.
Azand Hind Express dep: 9:10 p.m.I finally got a place at the footboard ( even left may vacant seats as ws searching for a vacant footboard) . I really love travelling sitting at the footboard , the second choice is a window seat oppsite to the direction train is moving! Give me either of these two and i can travel the world alone.
ya..mr. suresh he must be in his early 30s, I was sitting at the footboard and was eating a britannia 50-50 biscuit when he came and asked if he too can sit besides me, i gladly offered him some place as i aways fear sitting alone at night 'coz i fell asleep once and ws just about to fall so i thought he'll atleast see me in case i dozed off.
15 minutes went in silence, i was feeling uncomfortable as i always have a hench to talk to strangers on train ! Finally i decided to offer him a cigarette and it was then we started to talk. How much you may hate cigarettes and drinks the only plus points they have is the friendships of sutta and daaru are strongest !!! ( Although i encourage noone now to get into all this) have been insinuated hellova times in past for teaching bad habits in many people around me !
well should not sidetrack myself : Mr suresh started talking and after a brief intro he straightaway came to point.He had a breakup with his GF. same old stuff for guys i thought , i frankly say, at times i get pissed off if someone talks me about their breakoff ,surprisingly it didnot happen with him.May be beacause i too was weak after my recent personal experiences. I listened t him fr next 30 mins offered him a shoulder to sleep.and laughed on myself and all those people who get sentimental on love.then i didn't even realise wen did i sleep and found myself resting on his shoulder.
I felt so much of rest and ease and peace and what not.When you expect someone to be yourside someone who can lend a shoulder and you get a stranger do that for you.A total stranger can give you so much of solace and love at times that you forget the love you seek and try to get and run pole to pole to get that love.
Morale : bahut log milenge pyaar karne ke liye isiliye abhi ke liye ::: PIYO BEHENCHOD ( hindi fr Cheers !!! )
I felt very happy i got reminded of my dad's philosophy if you are good you will good people somewhere.
My Dad somehow always figures in my entries !!

Posted on Saturday March 18, 2006

Days I would never forget 5

2008-09-01T21:42:00.002+05:30

Posts of Past - Part 5
Urgent monetary help required for two bankrupt students from IIT Kharagpur.
They have finished all their money on one or the other noble cause,so now it's your time to donate generously for them.They have no big desires,Just a decent dinner at Park, a pack of cigarettes,One peg of patiala for one of them,all these almost daily if not daily every alternate day.
They are in real dire straits, they tried to mobilise some funds but were let down by many of their " so-called-good" friends.So, They have now opened their plea to everyone out her.Beacuse they are of firm belief that there still exists good will and humanity in this world, and some messiah(s) will come to their rescue.
Believe me they are good people at heart and soul.your one tiume investment will give you life long returns slthough annonymous contributions would be appreciated ! and they have got AAA rating frm many Financial Institutions , they have experience in handling money in multiples of 1000s so feel free to donate.Your money is going in safe hands.Contributions may start from Rs1000 onwards.( negotiable to 500 ) .
Drop your contributions at my room.

Posted on Saturday March 4, 2006

Days I would never forget 4

2008-09-01T21:37:00.002+05:30

Posts of past - part 4
Is change Inevitable ?
I am questioning an universal truth here,but can't help it.
I can't see any changes in me in past 5 years and that's why I was forced to think "is change really inevitable "??
I still love her,I still fear my daddy,I still sleep with my legs up on the wall,I still go out to get wet in the first showers of the season, I still love to roam on streets after dinner, I still think of him as an excellent friend, I still value her as a good friend, I still spoil my exms thinking of a gal, I still am foolish enough to get emotional almost everytime, I still fear to listen to senti songs( coz they make me cry instantly) , I still wear my watch on right hand despite all bashings frm mom, I still love to play Har Har mahadev , I still have a passion for crackers, I still value people , and I still am stupid not to value people,I still don't think before doing a job i just do it, I still don't apply an iota of my mind on any subjects, I still don't issue books from Library, I still love to extend my arms and stand on the the road divider facing the sky, I still do what i like.As, for what i like is the truth and the right thing for me, I still don't give a damn what the world thinks about me, I still don't ask teachers to increase my marks ( even if he misses sm ques) , I STILL AM WHAT I WAS.
But, around me I have seen people change overnight.Their priorites change.Their lifestyle change.Their HEART changes.To me everyone has the same status as i had for them in my mind.If i like someone i like him/her , if i dislike , I still dislike. I feel as if people around me are running ,changing their clothes their attitude and what not and i am just watching as a mute spectator.Am I incompetent enough to incorporate any changes in me or whether i am too happy with what i am that i have no rooms for changes.Is it good to be calculative and oppurtunist? Is it good to curb your basic instincts and do something for the sake of someone else ? I don't think so people doing so don't live for themselves, they don't have their personal identity.
I am not questioning anyone else but me here.Why did I not change.Was I dropped to this place too early? AM I not being able to understand the complexities of life or is it beyond my capacity?
Whatever be the reason I think I am happy being me and I have been doing good if not excellent.The only problem with me right now is I am not serious with anything.The only change which I would like to bring in me now is getting more serious about career and nothing else.Or do i run away from responsiblities ?
But Why do people change ? For survival ? I have been survivng and surving with a grace and with my held high.(except for one occassion) Will get you all one day abit that too.
And Yes I STILL HATE LIES.

Posted on Saturday February 25, 2006

Days I would never forget 3

2008-09-01T02:45:00.007+05:30

Posts of past not featured here - Part 3

What are the thought proceses in a person's mind - when he's lonely, when three of his relatives got blown away in a bomb blast, when he knows he is not doing well with his father and he wants to talk to him but can't, when he has forgotten to respect love and when he rejects all love that comes in his way. Bedlam.Chaos.But.....But.....But finding solutions to every chakravyuha you get caught in is LIFE. As one of my friend pointed out " life is not an impasse that u can't find a solution".And I feel happy I see solutions now.And yes there are happier things in life to talk about then why talk about things that make you sad.And more so, it's inherent in me to find an excuse to celebrate and party ! I can't be sad for long Good thing about me is I have lots of distractions and it at times help me to forget everything and enjoy , just enjoy.Btw the punching bag in my room gave up today with all his beatings and now is lying on the floor now with sand n sawdust in my room ![:d] I need to bring the other one frm Dost's room now.Today in cheddis we were discussing of hall days it reminded me of that my room has to be cleaned now.Key ingridients which now make up C-101 are: On Floor1.Ash2.Butts(Cigarette Butts..)3.Sand/Sawdust4.Cigareete Packs5.My clothes on floor6.Kt's bedsheet .. you have to agree it too is down-to-earth ! , is flowing out frm his bucket !!! 7.NEWSPAPERS8.Weights9.Socks n old Undies !! [:p]10.Cadbury Wrappers11.Hangars On walls1.A tubelight which doesnot function2.A smashed Fan Regulator3.Hutch Cartoons4.Aashish's Long Elapsed Deadline5.My Hanumaan ji whom I today found out , he was till now hiding behind a curtain.On Ceiling1.Lotssss of Cobwebs.In short the place is deplorable.How one lives here i just can't imagine.[:D]But we both(KT n ME) love our room,I just can't sleep in any one else's room.Recently KT bought new slippers after the one I had ws no longer usable, So , it's peace again in morning otherwise had to run from room to room to get a slipper to go to Pakistan !! [:P]I know this is all crap but atleast it's better than my previous post.Atleast I am smiling thinking of what have we become in 4 years.I think Gandhiji said " Cleanliness is next to Godliness" ?? He surely would have quit his " Quit India" Movement if had seen our room !And as I am a new blogger i don't know what to write and hoe n when n more so WHy ?? bear with it.

Posted : Saturday February 25, 2006

Days I would never forget 2

2008-09-01T02:43:00.003+05:30

Posts of past not featured here - Part 2
Sorry to all those to whom I have been rude all these days and bothered them with my pissed off face ! it will be over soon.I guess so ! :PI agree I am in a fight with myself. Lots of things are happening inside me, and none of them have a solution atleast this petty mind of mine can't see one in near future.I know i have started hating people.I never hated anyone.I can't recapitulat when all this started,may be last sem after the break up with the girl i loved.The world seemed to end that day.and may be it was that day that I decided never to love anyone again.And I still adhere to this decision of mine.No second thoughts on this.After all Love is once in a life time thing, it's not that you play on your options.If you are doing so you are doing business.I dont know why am i biased towards that girl, why no girl other than her can fill that void.Why have i locked the doors of that room ? and yes i do miss her a lot.I never realised that she would be so indispensable for we seldom talked of love as the love thingy shown in movies and in 2.2s here and hangar ( I have never been dere tho)! but still the day was 13th of August and I remember that and i drank a lot that night, was one of wingie's birthday ! and believe me next morning when i got up, the break off thing and she didnot come in my mind uptill afternoon, it was den when i realised that something happened last night and that was it.I was lost, I felt so lonely, I wanted to hold someone's hand but whom would you believe now when your most loved one deserted you. Since that day i learnt to smile and cry all for myself , no one is invited in my sadness and happiness, sadness in particular. I really love to party and celebtrate happiness , but after her there were no occassions!Let me be with myself. It's funny, the one who taught me what love is , ultimately taught me to hate.The First Cut is The Deepest and has not healed yet. May be once it heals up i'll be at peace atleast with myself.This is just one of the issues comncerning me .... this year has been (mis)happ for me ! But, In The End I am not as gloomy as i sound in this yes i am tensed but not sulky and gloomy.... I know I will have the LAST LAUGH and i will evolve from all this. :)

Posted : Friday February 24, 2006

Days I would never forget 1

2008-09-01T02:39:00.003+05:30

Posts of past not featured here - Part 1

Fear !

Posted : Friday February 24, 2006

Pieces

2008-09-01T02:28:00.003+05:30

Hii.

0228 1st September

Song : Mana bikhra hua hoon main.

Too much of a life supressed within, making the concerned feel he is a cadaver. For the suppression has reached a -ve extent where the life form within dies up.

Of small little recognitions

2008-08-19T00:33:00.004+05:30

Every one expects an acknowledgment for their efforts. There is nothing wrong in this.

and I hate the word favour.

Stranded

2008-08-11T00:56:00.007+05:30

I at times feel stranded on a divider between the roads of an expressway, with speeding traffic almost grazing me from both sides of the road.
I feel helpless then.
The three most important things in one's life

Family
Love
Friends.

I let them down and sometimes they let me down. It's normal.
So on a day if all of these three were adamant to pull each other down, where do you head to ??

Crap

2008-07-18T01:19:00.003+05:30

I an hour ago thought of a beautiful topic to write.

But ..

An hour has passed since the thought and I try so hard not to drink .. but it's not my fault..I forgot the context. All I remember is she said that she would call me in 10 min 2 hours ago !!!

I feel bad for myself.

For the 2 persons I loved most would never be able to give love to me.
My Dad - he never realized I loved him
Kirti - The world never realized I love her most.

Koi nahi...

My latest wish is t ohave a Studio apartment of mine and play football and do swimming.

Fuk all
I know I am harsh and I dont care about many for whom I should. But I cant help.

Can You ??

Kill

2008-07-03T07:25:00.003+05:30

I drive a lot coz
it kills time

I watch movies coz
It kills time

I stay in office for long coz
It kills time

I shop coz
It kills time

I booze often coz
It kills me

I want to live.

Copy

2008-07-03T00:08:00.009+05:30

The following lines are detto copy of a post from Ishita's blog

I love parties…
Foot tapping music…
Loud conversations…
Hugs…kisses in the air…
A naughty joke…
Interesting observations…

I love parties…
Pretty clothes…
Shimmering eye shadow…
Lipstick leaving…
Tell tale marks…
I greet a friend…
I avoid a foe…

I love parties…
I drink…
One too many…
I dance…I laugh…
Intoxicated…
I catch your eye…
I know that look…
I’ll take my chances…
Life’s not always about
Going by the book…

I love parties…
The sense of freedom…
The spontaneity…
The cozy corners…
The dim lights…
Passionate encounters…
Soon forgotten…
Jealous spouses…
Stupid fights…

I love parties…
Fodder for gossip…
Excuses to shed
Inhibitions…
Reasons to smile…
Long into the night
I don’t miss many
Just skip a few
Once in a while

*sigh*…yes…I do…love parties…!

Randomize

2008-06-24T19:43:00.004+05:30

You sit at 8 pm in your site office with a jugaad AC that explains how it works, and temporary chairs and tables and see the lighted skyline of Gurgaon and you know it had rained today and the leaves outside are all green. Still you hang in your office. I guess you have nothing better to do.

You just don't want to go for a cigarette. reason - No company and actually it's not tasting good today. You don't know the reason though, anyways for your good it is.

I am noticing you are a bit troubled these days or for that matter of fact I have been noticing the same since long. Your friends have been telling you that you get up 10 times at night all clueless where you are. And thanks to your freaky nature I am noticing you have been drinking a lot these days and found new places that offer excellent discounts. You need to give a break.

I think you should go to swimming more regularly, it will give your body some flexes. You have been experiencing trouble lately with you back. You need to work it out.

You seem to be a extravagant guy, I have not seen you eating at home these days. Yet you pay him. Good.
And my friend, You know how to live alone you have been doing this the day you were born. Why the sudden voidness troubles you. Okie I understand, may be that's why your Dad was smart enough he never made love a necessity for you. Unless you experience it you wont miss it. Now You Miss It.
Or rather you are scared of losing it for once and all.

Happily Idle

2008-04-13T20:46:00.004+05:30

It's been a while I woke up at 11 in the morning.
It's been a while I did not want to even move a leg.
It's been a while I connected my laptop to speakers.
It's been a while I took bath at 4 in the evening.
It's been a while I pulled up a bucket full of water over my head.
It's been a while I played up song on full volume while I was brushing and bathing.
It's been a while I watched a cricket match to the last ball and saw India win.
It's been a while I drove a bike.
It's been a while I opened the spark plug and adjusted the tunining of a bike.
It's been a while I logged onto Gtalk.
It's been a while I sat on a chair and table at home.
It's been a while I had blogged

It all happened today though.
I am Happily Idle today.

Night

2007-12-16T22:24:00.000+05:30

IST 10:26 pm

me: aerosmith pink

Sent at 10:10 PM on Sunday

Varun: pink iis the color of pasion

me: hahahha

okie

Varun: me going for lunch

me: bt aerosmith is not

Varun: camera le jaa raha hoon

me: i had 2 beers

Varun: dhoop and snow ek saath

me: good

Varun:

me: i dont have a camera

Varun: baaah

me: bt will buy soon !

Varun: kahin gaya ta?

me: na

aaj ghar pe

Varun: haan

me: aaj bike start bhi nahi kiye

Varun: ohh

sahi

sala fir gandaa peene lagaa hai tum

me: hahahahahah

Varun:

ghar pe hitha din bhar?

me: haan , bas beer lene gaye the ek door dukaan....paas wali bhi jaa sakte the but door wali gaye.

and wo bhi doosre ki bikepe

Varun: haahhaa

door wali

paas wali

ladki ka feel deta hia

haahha

me: hahahahaha

this week 6 days daaru

i guess saddest week of life it was

Varun:

haan

par at least tum kittu di ko lambaa rasta se le gaya

wo extra time to milas

me: haan

tht ws the best thing of this week

jitna lil time uske saath miltahai i feel happy

i feel lost

i feel myself

Varun: koi nahi be

time time ki baaat hai

me: hmmm

khair jo bhi ho

hum dukhi hai

Sent at 10:19 PM on Sunday

Varun: haaan

arre ye to bhool higaye the in sab ke beech

tum dukh ihai

enjoii it

me: hmmm

aerosmith-living on the edge

now i have 3 beers

Varun: ufffff

Tare Zameen Par

2007-12-10T22:02:00.000+05:30

The music is excellent.
Shankar Ehsaan Loy were not expected to deliver such soothing and soft music.
It's 10:04 pm, and yesterday it was 6.8ºC in Delhi. He is wearing a green sweater and blanket over him. A pack of Classic Ultra Milds by the bed side and Vikram Seth's Two lives.The songs play with the laptop lid closed and lie to the other side of the bed.
The sound of TV in the lobby is the occasional distraction that he gets, but trying hard to manage the book, the music and the cigarette.

Recommendations:
Mera Jahan.
Ishaan's Theme.

Unfettered ?

2007-12-06T10:27:00.000+05:30

Yesterday she told me you are a free man now, although it was more of a taunt as i took it and serious she was .......I don't remember the context though. But who wants to be free ? I don't.
I know it's the youth's cry these days to give them more freedom, but to me, I want to be bound now.
The reason being simple, have been a free spirit since past Twenty Two and Half years. I did what I felt like. What I feel was always more important than the reason behind the act.
I too want to listen to the following :
1. Come home early.
2.Are you not well ?
3. Don't talk to her.She's a bitch.
4.You are not allowed here if you smoke.
5.Call me.
6.Wear a sweater.
7. Have you out on the helmet ?
8. Where are your gloves?
9.You are supposed to give a call when you are late.
10.Drive at 60.
11. I heard there was an earthquake. Are you hurt ?
12.All your night outs are not appreciated.
13.Clean up your room.
14. Socks are meant to kept in the shoes and shoes on the rack.
.............

I seriously am not enjoying this free life now.
Chain me. Bound me.

Of Love, Women and Dance

2007-12-05T19:34:00.000+05:30

Madhuri was always beautiful and she is still to date.
She is what you can describe as a complete woman. With right amount of appeal, grace, humbleness, naughtiness.
Look at this pic of hers, it shows the angst in her, the furious her, and the guys bowing before her are bowing just because they know she is angry and at any time can burst. The dancers in the back are praying with their hands up to calm down her. This is a good choreography. Although I am none to comment on these talented directors and choreographers, but still I like to mention it as i apprehended it in the above said manner.
I liked Aaja Nachle, and would suggest you to watch it too. Look at the way Madhuri dances, winks, walks. I , you can by now guess am completely bowled over by this mother of two.But she defines what woman is. She defines feminism.
Feminism is not just the physical differences, but lot more than that.Femininity has traditionally included features such as gentelness, patience and kindness. The feminine is most often associated with nurturing, life-giving qualities, creativity and an openness to those around. This forms the basis of categorizing a particular trait of someone as feminine or masculine.
You can tell by the dance of a girl how feminine she is. Straight Away. Since past, woman have lured men with their femininity and they still do till date. Then there was the love being explained in the movie which was an excellent portrayal of all the textbook definitions of love and the last dance sequence was excellently choreographed. Women are (generally exceptions please don't mind) always more expressive and the fact they bear a life makes them more honorable. I always loved and had a great amount of respect for women, yes but not to these flashy and no ground beneath them girls. A woman is respected most and for that matter of fact loved most when she is graceful. Each and every step of hers should have a gravity and should be a sunked in march, her eyes not looking directly to the person in front of her neither looking down to her toes, somewhere midway, a swift waive of her hand and all such small gestures would make her goddess.
the movie to me was very effective just coz, it took dance- the most easy way to depict a woman-who is the epitome of love.

Scream

2007-11-18T11:49:00.000+05:30

Kirti is troubled.
KT wants to buy a suit.
Varun says why I asked Nammo to talk to him.
Ramesh gives me calls and messages me on gtlalk.
Jassi wants to accompany him for shopping for his US trip.
Boss wants the work completed.
Daddy wants me to give a visit to my Uncles.

And me ?
Someone said not long ago.. What you want is meaningless.
They truly are as of now.But one day, all on my own I would accomplish all my wants and wishes.
Till then I chose to remain silent.

Om Shanti Om

2007-11-18T11:46:00.000+05:30

Om Shanti Om was better.
I like masala.Always. And Deepika was stunning. I generally don't give much heed to the ooomph associated with actresses but I liked her. She is good.
For a change, Farah asked Shahrukh to do what he is good at.Overacting.
Overacting with a consent and approval no longer remains overacting. This is the case with Om Shanti Om.
And Other good thing to look at was Arunabh. Great going and pretty early.

Saawariya

2007-11-14T21:43:00.000+05:30

Saawriya was not a good movie.
I mean it was not a good movie if you consider it in totality.
Yes it had excellent art direction, good music , good cinematography. But yes no story as such to keep you occupied.
It's a dream, a dream that every girl would have. The movie is romantic to the core.
and make guys like me feel helpless ! But yes in the same time the movie re-instated tha fact that I am die hard romantic from within ! ;) Just never expressed it.
Ranbir was good. Sonam not good.
Rani again played a prostitute. Didn't like the fact though.
Salmaan seemed shooted for the movie on his trip to Ajmer Sharif. There was simply no need to give him the moolaah look.
The sets were gorgeous, most of the times I overlooked the actors and was awed by beautiful sets and lights flashing.

Status

2007-10-25T15:36:00.000+05:30

These are the status messages of friends who were online in my gtalk list at 2:38 PM October 25
and my comments

DonT WalK A$ IF I RulE ThiS WOrlD, I WalK A$ IF I DonT CarE WhO RulE$ !~!
impressive

Did it hurt...... wen u fell from heaven :)
Obviously it will if u fall

GOLD IN ZONASA.....utrega nahi ye nasha!!!
Hurray

Smoking Kills
Very True

:)
Kindly Elaborate

http://www.giveindia.org/give/common/HomePageAction.do
Giving is an Indian quality

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Applicable to yourself too..

http://dharam015.blogspot.com
Will one day read

I can resist everything except temptation
smart

Stepped Out
Ok

buzyyyyyy
yyy ????

A bus stops at a bus station; a train stops at a train station. On my desk I have a workstation...
Software people are crazy

A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend with weed is better....
Always true

....hare ram(2)..hare hare krishna..follwed by hare ram..........[.
why kanjoosi in taking god's name ??

v-a-n-u... :P
Personal Status msg.. very few may comprehend

Thoughts meander like a / restless wind inside a letter box / they tumble blindly as / they make their way across the universe
So are my thoughts!

http://instioneliners.blogspot.com/ Oneliners make more sense than one page essays, when it comes to insti bhaat.
How come it's bhaat if it's a oneliner, ever tried bhatting in oneliners.Although you start with one line, but standard oneliners i m talking about

Feeling Sleepy
Sleep is the best medicine, after apple ofcourse, so go sleep

Front page news in today's HT : Dhoni baal katwaya.
kahan ka ? [:p]

blank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With such a excitement how come you are blank ?

light and shadows of life............ and shadows and shadows of this sem ;)
How many shadows ? If two there are equal no. of light sources there.

'bean' there, not done yet :-(
Again Software people are crazy.. it's abt JAVA Bean

Mother

2007-10-15T19:44:00.001+05:30

I almost cried.It has been long since a tear drop fell off.It's almost every time.
This time I was talking to mum.
I just am not what I am when I talk to my parents.
But whenever I talk to mum it pains for I could not give her what she expected from her only child.
Talking to Dad is always functional never emotional but mum, I always let her down.
She wanted a Doctor of me. But my Dad thought what's good for me and what interests me. He is always functional. I love him for this.
But mum, I feel bad for her.
Once there was a post "To the best a woman can get". But I feel I have let down each and every one from te fairer sex who has been associated with me.
Be it my mum,be it her, be it others whom i don't want to name just not to arise unnecessary gossip. I hope they would get themselves.
Anyways, It's very hard for me to come back but I am trying hard to do justice to everyone.
And I will.
Godd Bless You is what my mother always says to me before hanging up the phone.
And the thing is that she understands that I am/was/ought to go through a bad phase due to the circumstances evolving around me.
I love you Mum.
This makes me cry.

Of Comedy Movies and Why to Laugh

2007-10-10T12:07:00.000+05:30

What is the right amount of humor in a movie to make you laugh and enjoy the scene .
Basically as far as I think laughter bursting out of your face depends on the following criterion:

1.The trailer of the movie. There are scenes that you have already watched in trailers and you expect them in the movie. Like the Bengali taunting Akshay in Bhool Bhulaiya, I am sure the scene will have the maximum laughter response.

2.Company. If you are watching a movie alone you tend to overlook small little hidden humour in the movie. For you they seem quite trivial and cliché to laugh at.
If you are with someone, you laugh twice, basically you share the laughter.

3.The Movie Turn.If you are watching a comedy movie for the second time be sure that this viewing would be more enjoyable than the first time you went to the theatre. For, after every scene you expect and know what about to come, whether its funny, tragic or dumb. So basically your perception of the scene increases and you enjoy right from beginning. The time you took to gauge the humor ceases this time and you have an overlap period of laughter between the scenes.

4.Your personal mood. You watch a movie on Saturday – that’s the ideal time to enjoy a movie as you don’t have the fatigue of Friday and the tensions of Monday that usually creeps in somewhere around Sunday afternoon.

5.The Theatre.I personally enjoy theatres that have balconies/DC as we had in our city. The PVRs are too sophisticated for me. No hoots, no whistles make it dull. It’s not I whistle on lewd scenes or every time a semi naked actresses pops in on the big screen. But still it gives up a certain tempo. And for this fact I like Chanakya much more than any of the starred PVRs. Chanakya has got a typical movie theatre ambience with an old man at the ticketing counter howling at you for not being sure of what time of the show suits you the most, or you confirm on phone the number of tickets right after ordering the tickets. Then you have fans at Chanakya. That’s cool. Although it must be having a central air conditioned space but still those tilted fans on the side walls make it much more humble and classic. Though I have been to Chanakya just once. So a comedy movie at Chanakya will be much more enjoyable than PVR Europa Class, as here the whole of the gathering is your company and you share the laughter of the theatre.

6.Expectations.And please watch the movies with least of expectations! And Laugh of on the silliest of jokes. Respect the amount of money,time, labour the crew had spent making the movie – just for you.

Movies I am looking upto :
Bhool Bhulayia
For it has Akshay Kumar and he is raw when it comes to comedy, and I saw Shiney Ahuja smile for the first time - in the trailers !!
No Smoking
I totally support the cause and hence.
Saawariya
For it’s Sanjay Leela Bhansali’s and you can see a blinking bulb full one kilometer away from the singing actress in his highly elaborate and elegant sets.

Dissociation

2007-10-06T22:35:00.000+05:30

Dissociation

I am sorry! I am a Gemini!
Cheerio.

Addendum

2007-09-29T13:22:00.001+05:30

Thode Badmaash is from movie saawariya not Om Shanti Om.

Of Wet Clothes and Muddy Shoes

2007-09-29T09:05:00.000+05:30

This is just another version of the post below it.

Off late things are going pretty Ok.
I am sleeping early,getting up late that makes me rush to office often making me late.
It's the same mundane times after office and I had to try hard to keep myself busy.
I watch movies because i have nothing else to do.
I am enjoying the crappy songs I play, why the hell do i like these crappy songs.
I rained heavily last evening and had to walk about 2kms in rain with holdinig shoes in hand and socks in pockets, making a fool of myself.
I miss beer in my new beer mugs [:(]
I Sleep cuddled up with a pillow on a cold night, all alone.

For once,
My black leather shoes were all muddy and wet, and I have to rush to office 2moro morning and I don't know will they dry up overnight.
For once,
My laptop bag is all muddy and wet
For once,
Cars splash water over me, It feels bad not be in one of those cars.
For once,
I tear up my shirt trying to cross a barbed fence going for morning tea
For once,
I have to walk long distances and get tired, walking alone with a smoke to your support.
and blah blah......
But, It's people around you who make whole lot of difference for you and your own personal will to get back to normal and think of better things and squeeze out the fun from whatever you are offered.
For it does not happen again that you walk splashing on road and uncles passing by on cars slow down to look to you and smile and pass on. They must have felt jealous. It's the basic instinct of every human to jump in a poodle of water on road. and poor uncles and aunties they miss it, coz they wear a sandal costly enough to get wrinkled up by a drop of water.[:)]
So BE HAPPY n LOVE ALL

Songs for the weekend: ( Remain the same )

Laree Choote from Ek Chalis Ki Last Local
Ajab Si from Om Shanti Om
Thoda Badmaash from Om Shanti Om
Sawar Gayi from Sawariya
Ladies and Gentlman by Saliva
Dum Laga(Remix) from Dil Dosti etc.

Of Getting Drenched In Rain

2007-09-29T08:25:00.001+05:30

Off late things are going smooth.
I am sleeping early,getting up late [:P] ,
I figure out ways to keep myself occupied after office,
I watch movies,
I am enjoying the crappy songs I play,
I am enjoying rain, splashing water in a poodle, walk on a rainy evening with a lappy on shoulder and shoes in one hand and socks in my pockets [:p].
I enjoy the guava juices in the the new beer mugs that I bought a week ago,
I Sleep cuddled up with a pillow on a cold night.

For once,
I don't care about my black leather shoes in mud and what will I wear next day to office,
For once,
I don't care about mud and rain on my laptop bag,
For once,
I don't care about cars splashing me with water equivalent to taking a plunge in the swimming pool.
For once,
I am enjoying the morning tea on the redhi outside my house, where we have to reach in a full military gear crossing 2 barbed fencing and tearing up our shirts and getting scratches on back.[:)]
For once,
I enjoy walking long stretches on the footpath on the NH-8, seeing the vehicles pass by at a blitz.
What hurry are they in ??

Thanks my bachcha and all. You deserve much more. For I had been many a times said as being the unhandleable one and left on my own.
Let's hope for the best of all.

Songs for the weekend:

Laree Choote from Ek Chalis Ki Last Local
Ajab Si from Om Shanti Om
Thoda Badmaash from Om Shanti Om
Sawar Gayi from Sawariya
Ladies and Gentlman by Saliva
Dum Laga(Remix) from Dil Dosti etc.

Of Filling Up The Blank

2007-09-24T10:26:00.000+05:30

How?

1. Shopping : Too costly for new joiners as us. But still I shop.
2. Movies: Good Option. But still you miss some-the-one in the next seat.
3.Books: Require lot of concentration, had you had it, you would have not missed some-the-one.
4.Friends: Always a good option.
5.Phone: Talk on phone, to anyone to the extent that your ears go warm and you throw off your phone.
6.Clean up your Room: This will make you feel you are not after all "good-for-nothing".
7.Internet/Chat: Talk to people you know and do some load transfer and exchange.
8.Drives: Go for long drives. Not Alone though.The highway is dangerous. And every time you look in the rear view mirror you are ought to miss some-the-one. If there;s no one to go with, go alone.
9.Songs: Search fr good songs, check out the new movie songs, listen to them rate them for yourself, suggest to others if you feel like.
10.Beer : Have fun and then sleep. Easy way out but dangerous at times.But the most loyal and most frequently tried out option.

Speak Up

2007-09-24T09:59:00.000+05:30

I have been through this phase earlier. And am again into it.
This is the time where you don't feel like doing anything, be it partying,mourning, reading a newspaper, or even talking.
You just would want yourself to be left alone and lay around.
Over this weekend I had been pointed out by 4 people that I talk less.
Is it so ?
I have been talking to people I feel like and it's as simple as that I ain't open to any new person in my life. And I am not open friendly informal communication I have a huge circle and I am happy to have them, no more bhaiyas, bhabhis, cousins....
I am happier this way.
At least I don't have to smile on silly jokes and pranks and repeat my daily routine for n number of times for the n number of bhaiyas, bhabhis, cousins.
I am a rebel. As well pointed by one of the n numbers of bhaiyas.. ki ye to gaya haath se.
And
I don't care about that.
And, I don't want changes around me right now. Changes are painful.
Now I don't want you people to start shouting that change is inevitable and need of life.
I know all this crap and have been preaching the same.
But right now I am NOT what I am.

P.S : I will have 2 kids. Coz single kids always land up in mess. It's not that they are pampered.
It's just they are alone.

I am a mess.

Se7en

2007-09-13T09:36:00.000+05:30

Week : Any Period of Seven Consecutive Days

MUNDANE Monday
TIRING Tuesday
WAILING Wednesday
THWACK Thursday
FREAKY Friday
SABBATH Saturday
SLEEPY Sunday

Of NH-8, Landing Airplanes and Child Within

2007-09-08T00:36:00.000+05:30

Nh-8, The 8 lane expressway from Delhi to Jaipur is my lifeline these days for not only it's my link to Delhi from Gurgaon but is a really cool expressway. I always had a fascination for fast moving motors, night rides, airplanes, flyovers, tall mast lights... You find all of these here. It links Gurgaon to Delhi passing through the airport.The NH-8 is being built by DS Construction Group on BOT basis. For those who don't know what BOT is- Built-Operate-Transfer. The concession time for this is 20 years and this expressway saves fuel worth Rs 8,000 crore annually.After 20 years when the DS group and other parties have recovered their cost this expressway will be handed over to government.
Once you reach the Raddison Flyover you gea wonderful view of the airport with planes taxing and docking and a kilometer further you have planes landing and taking off just above your head. It looks great.
The above pic is supposed to be of a landing airplane [:p] Sorry, but expressway patrol was on my ass, this is what i could gather.Man has always been mesmerized by airplanes irrespective of age, as is evident from the fact that uncles & aunties, bhaiyas and bhabhis, dudes and babes all pause in the portion of the expressway which stands perpendicular to the runway of the airport just to catch a glimpse of aircrafts doing a rang de basanti. I watched 7 such planes land tonight, for I had the luxury of being caught up in a 7km traffic jam and took the first U-turn back.

Of Parting Memories

2007-09-06T21:06:00.000+05:30

My wallet was overflowing with ATM slips, movie tickets, Parking tickets and what not.
I decided to clean it up.But it was hard.I just couldn't throw away any of the movie tickets even the parking tickets debit card sale slips, just because it was her I went movie with, it was her I parked the bike with, it was her I shopped with.

Am I crazy? Is it normal ?

I finally emptied my wallet.

Yes, I am crazy

The Tranquilizer

2007-09-05T09:36:00.000+05:30

Watching her sleep with folded palms, in a second wiped off all my anxiety, restlessness, fatigue. It was so simple and calm.
One day with her and things are already changing now for me and i guess for good. Though she didn't put in some effort to make me peacer or whatever but her presence made me feel calmer.It made me happy.It's not I am happy now, deep within the pain remains.But I ain't sad either.
Hope will start a new life now.
All without her.

Smoking Kills

2007-09-04T09:44:00.001+05:30

It was August 2003 that I sarted smoking I guess. It's been 4 years that I have had this deadly habit.I have tried nuerous time in the past to quit it. All the time quitting for short periods. The longest being 3 months.

It is said an average smoker tries to quit smoking 6 times before he finally succeeds to do so.
But this time I really want to get rid of it.
Just to remind me and to scare me I might have smoked 4X365X10 cigarettes by now.

For all those who are also trying to quit smoking can follow these 12 simple ways. Aah.. simple as they say it's not at all easy for a smoker to quit smoking that simply. Anyways, you may have numerous withdrawl symptoms in early stages but it's all about one's will power and control. I went cranky on the first day without smoke. If things go very tough it's advisable you take a puff or so froma friend just to satisfy yourself. slowly this gap will widen and you wont have the urge to smoke. Keep yourself occupied too.

As far as quitting alcohol is considered it's aways easier. Just don't go to a Bar or Wine shop.
All the best for my endeavors.

Tere Naina

2007-09-04T01:03:00.000+05:30

I have been listening to Kailash Kher- Tere Naina for past 2 days, at home in office non stop.
It's a good song.There might be greater songs but I don't have the tempo to search for them as this suits me now and fits to my demands. So, I am more than happy with it.
I guess 50% of my time at home goes chatting with Varun. Poor guy. He needs me as he is all alone miles away. So I better spare my precious time for the poor soul.
But the same applies to me too. [:p]

Of Love, Beer and being a Gemini

2007-09-04T00:29:00.000+05:30

I love to love.And I love her.
One of the pundits say I have great expectations, yes now I feel I do have.I have great amount of expectation from my life, for the slightest hiccup in my already chaotic life has immense effect on me, Leave alone the latest development in my life.It was something like tsunami... really it happened for once and had it's utmost devastation on me. I have changed, even the office guys or my flatmate s who know me for mere 2 months have already questioned the change in my behavior. Most of my time now passes by thinking what do the next moment and it goes in a loop. For I have nothing to do nor I am willing to do.I get scared by the fact that it's still 7:00 in the evening and how will the night pass by. I just sit by and time passes by with each and every passing minute haunting me of the next coming minute. I eat but I never know when I finish up my plate. I miss flyovers while coming back from office.I have resorted to surfing a lot these days, atleast to keep me occupied for I have, for the time being lost the power of thinking. My favorite sites these days are rediff, google image labeler, wikipedia. Its just the beginning of my fght back. I need to fight back and all on my own. I know I am in a bad shape.

I love.I love Beer.
This love for beer started right from the fifth and final year of KGP and continued till day before yesterday. Day before yesterday because now i no longer enjoy it. I want to start afresh.Quit Beer, Cigarette. Be a clean man. Atleast I want to have some goodness left in me. For till now she was the angel in me. But now I have to help myself.And excessive intake of this alcoholic drink has already had disintegrating effect on me. So better quit it. But will surely miss it.For it remained faithful at very odd times and was never busy sleeping, playing,watching movie or chatting. Anyways I need to find the faith in me.

I am a Gemini.And I love that.
But I know not many people are happy for me being a Gemini. I am a chameleon. I change in no time. I could a loving friend a moment and may be dancing in a pub with friends the next hour ad may be driving back to home in inebriated condition in most dangerous conditions prevailing on NH - 8 . I fear myself at times. I am sorry baby for this. and Sorry to all my friends who have by now innumerable reasons to complain against me. Give me time I'll be back.

Love Always. For I will pass this phase of mine and so will you.But Love would remain.

P.S : I am not that romantic as it sounds. [:P]

2007-08-20T21:06:00.000+05:30

As of now I can think of only two things where I can diert my resources to- One my Job , other KGP... for KGP absorbs everything you joys your sorrows, your laughter and cries just vanishes in the dense green environment there.
I miss my college a lot for it seems as if I was born and brought up there.
I got my french cut there, I almost got bald there, I got FRIENDS there, I got those always pestering professors there, I got a TSC there, I got the steps to stare at stars there, KGP gave me my love, It prejudiced that roads are always yellow and black and night is always yellow and green,
KGP gave me Chunnu and Bondhu, Kgp gave me blood, Kgp gave me Royal Stag and Kingfisher, it gave and made me quit Marijuana,Kgp gave me liberty to be almost naked on holi, kgp " Illuminated" me, KGP gave me GI,GIH,NH-6..It gave and made me quit tinku, KGP made me whistle, KGP made me prone to sound of rails. KGP gave me a Rs 20 worth of a lifetime, KGP gave me The Longest Railway Platform in the world. Kgp gave me jaundice, KGP made me eat ice cream at 3 in the winter night.KGP made me dance.KGP gave me my WIng,KGP gave me the "The Unlucky Number" of batchmates which turned out to be the most beautiful thing of KGP, KGP gave me Life.

2007-08-20T19:53:00.000+05:30

I had a motive in life till now.But it's lost now.So I find myself totally blank these days, Nothing to give a thought to, nothing to concentrate upon, nothing to surrender. I just have no clue what to do next minute of my life.
I am sincerely thinking of finding some means to keep me occupied, otherwise i feel totaly useless. Yes, I have a job and i work hard but I want to work for myself too. Now I have nothing.

At present what i need urgently is that my salary cheque gets encashed as soo as possible and i need a bike.Roads and traffic lights are only things now that keep me occupied and foccussed.

I Love You and will Always

2007-08-19T22:22:00.000+05:30

Let Go. is what I preach.
But never found it so hard.